Okay my first impressions:
Spawn, look around, work out basic controls, hear zombies, run away, MadMax tells me to find sign post, wander around, find signpost, in Chernogorsk, MadMax incoming eta ages, download map app, wander around, rummage to gather small amount of supplies, find backpack, much win, rains, get soaked, wander around, fire station, find sledgehammer, find zombie, run away, plead with MadMax (MM from now on) to move faster, run towards MM location, notice another zombie following me, running, more running, MM descends like a god and blows zombies away, hungry thirsty cold soaked, max gives shotgun (with ammo) and canteen, wander, find better clothes, no cold. find food, no hungry, find tap, no thirsty, MM leads me to Elektrozavodsk, start getting hungry, Elektrozavodsk ages away, start starving, find house, eat soup, now hungry, Elektrozavodsk not to far, arrive at Elektrozavodsk, meet people, very cold, thirsty, starving, soaked, MM raids christmas tree for all the ammo, I stand in the building to avoid rain, search for food, none, REV people turn up, start chatting, MM still looting, Hypothermia, tell guys, MM runs to get fire making stuff, screen starts to go blurry, Hypothermia turns red, tell MM to hurry, pass out, people panic, screen black buggery knows what is happening, epinephrin brought, die.
Fun was had.