We all have our things to get us throu the day i quess
... If batman helps you by allmeans gohead
... But over the past 4 years i've had quite alot of shit happning me to , and i never turned to anyone or thing besides gaming & my dad to deal with the pain / Anger / Regret...
When i was 14 i was sleeping in a build wich where on fire... By some odd miracle i woke up, Even though i had 29%carbon monoxide poisoning in my blood And the doctors said between 20-30 precent is the passing out face where you cant stay conscious anymore... But i woke up and manged to recue my self out with Gas falsks explod'ing windows breaking, metals being so hot you could barely touch them for over 1 second... When i did get out the window with only my traousers on i could see about 3-4 firetrucks 3 paramedics and 2 special paramedic doctors and a couple of police cars... I whent to the Front of the build to see wether or not it was a vivid dream or if it really where reality... i came around the last corner to see 15-20 meters flames that had engolfed most of the build... After the paramedics saw ( took a few secs ) They could see my face was all black from smoke inhalation specialy the nose was filled with (Sod i think its called ?) and my mouth where all cover in it aswell same with my throat... So by that point they could see i've inhaled quite alot of smoke, so they did a feld test on my to see wether or not i needed a preasure champer to lower the carbon monoxide in my blood more rapidly (Lucky) i ''only'' had 29% So i only needed to get air for about 10 hours til my stats dropped below 10% .. But they where so amazed about me wakeing up with that amount in my blood... To this day i still dont know what to think was it that guy they call god? my Guardian engel ? My Big brother who's not with us anymore?... I dont know what to think? maybe it was just dumb luck? But when i got realeased from the hospital a few days later, With the note that i might have a kemical Lunginfection due to the smoke inhalation... i went back to see how bad it really was...
Everything in the enterire building was melted all plastic was meltet couse the Heat was that great... Things my the room i was sleeping in where starting to melt aswell...
Then a few years later, about 16 i was riding on the back of a scooter with a friend, during the night, where for some dumb ass reason he decieded to turn of the light on the scooter so we where driving in pitch black ( He thought the police where chasing us ) The in the exstreamly care occasion a nother god dam scooter where drive'ing with out lights on , Wich we colided with with 70kmt, I dident have a helmet on and the scooters dident hit like head on but he ramed our side kinda, So he hit my leg, where i Hit my knee severly and startet to build up fluids immediatly.. and fractured 4 toes ( all besides the big toe ) 3 Bones with in the foot, and spraied my angel.. But when i got thrown off with 70kmt with out a helmet i whould image that being pretty damn close to the end, Yet in that split second i had to react in the air. with out think about i covered my with my arms , in a kinka embrasse possion to my Albows hit first... one of the albows to a pretty hard hit and startet to bleed alot... allmost lost a hole liter of blood.... When we all where done checking our self , and realised what had happen my leg where in exstream pain, And i could feel sumthing weird was going on with my right arm... though i just thought it was somthing mirnor like a skid mark kidna injury. i then told my friend that where so lucky he dident even get hurt, he got some skid marks but nothing that needed hospital treatment i told him i couldt move my leg, and he startet appoligiesing i said, its fine man, Go check on the other rider check if hes even breathing couse he havent said a word so far... He allso Broke a few toes and bones in the foot and hit his knee aswell.. When the police and paramedics came, They Paid most attention to me couse i dident have a helmet on, so they put me on a spine board and startet to loock me in place and the police man where holding my head fermly so i couldt move incase of spinal injuries... My friend looked over and saw iv drops and me being on a spineboard looking like im gonna die in sec, he startet to cry and allmost feel to the ground.. where i yell im allright bro.. Go home sleep ill call in the morning... He felt so sorry for weeks and weeks to come..
Last year i when i was working , We got a phone call by one of our employes that a nother of our employes(Alex) felt into a lake.. So we thought he was wet. so we start to drive down there with new cloths and blankets... its was quite could the water.. When we come down there we only saw 1 light... so we stratet to wonder like wtf?... we ran towards the site... and the closer we got the more it hit us ... he dident fell into the lake and got up... he droved and the guy who found him where in chock... I told my Friend/colleague to jump in the word and drag him to the shore where i had to lift him 1meter and something.. and he was an 80kg heavy guy... And my arms arent that big and im not that strong... but i was supprised that i pulled him up on the grass. but i quess when a life is depending on it you can do much much greater things...
After i got him up i help my friend up from the lake and told him to go get the blankets while i called 911.. Whilst we got him up and called more colleague rushed to the scene to help with what ever they could even though most where in shock they where trying there best... We pulled him further up the hill to some solid ground where we startet cph, and keept on doing until the EMT's got there.. They tryed to resesitate him for about 5 mins , but when the Paramedic doctor came she just shaked here head , that he could not be saved that he had been in the water for to long, They took a white blanket and Placed over his body where every thing just startet to crash in my physki... I couldt believe the guy i spoke with 40mins ago and have been working with for the past 7years arent here anymore... like where was the fairness in this?.. a sweet familie guy who leaves 2 sons and a wife, What for?... after this last expreiance i startet to lose faith in god, Like where was god when this guy needed him?i asked for 2 weeks vacation right after, couse i needed to clear my thoughts... I went on vacation with a friend, and tryied to rest my system... But after that last expreiance... I now realize how Hard we are but how very Fragile at the same time...
it whould be a lie if i said im fine now ... the fact is i drive past where he died every night and still do my cross and pray in my head that someone is taking care of him.. That he knows his not forgotten..
For the first 3 mounths after i woke up rapidly with a pulse raging at over 100 and being so scared even though i couldt remember what the hell i was dreaming about i just knew that it was something horrible that my hole body reacted to.. now adays after i have told this story to everyone it gets better and better for each time i write it down / Speak it to a friend... So i quess all in all my dad is my hero. His allways been there for me no matter what i wanted to speak about. he allways makes time wether or not his setting in a meeting or what his doing...
So i quess you're right superheros are what YOU make em out to be , and arent the same for all of us. I know how hard it can be , feeling all alone Faithless, feeling that theres no point in life if it anyways gets taken from you in a second..
For me just to beable to Say thise things and tell strangers ( Even though most of you arent stagers anymore ) im so proud of where i've gone from to where im at now. It can still be better But im finaly at a place where i can find rest and peace. With out thinking bad stuff
i just wanted to share this so maybe you know you arent alone <3 We all have some horrible stuff happend to us at 1 point , wich unites us all...